Kim Jon Un’s elevated his stature in the world when he gave Trump a monumental photo-op opportunity. Trump’s in the history books for being the first illegitimate president to walk on North Korean soil, according to Jimmy Carter.
Mr. Trump had to show Kim some respect after the president gave Kim the cold shoulder in Vietnam. Michael Cohen broke his concentration when ratted on him to Congress. China’s President Xi told Kim he would tell Trump to help him when Xi visited North Korea, according to the New York Times.
President Xi also told Trump to stop screwing with Chinese tech companies, if he wants to close a trade deal. Xi also told Trump he talked to Putin about Iran, and they are on Iran’s side. The Iranians told Trump they will crush his Middle East real estate development dreams if he lets John Bolton deep fry Iran. Bolton and Pompeo keep pushing Trump to bomb Iran, according to the Washington Post.
French President Macron tried to convince Trump to rejoin the Paris Climate Accord. But the president told Macron he didn’t want to upset his fossil fuel donors now that the farmers are ready to kick him to the curb. Mr. Trump tried to appease the farmers when he said China will buy a lot more American farm products. The Chinese press said that’s doubtful. All the 2019 farm contracts went to other countries because of Trump’s tariffs, according to the New York Times.
The Trumpster tried to make his meeting with Xi a win. The stock market bought his act. Stocks jumped 250 points. That happens every time Trump lies about something important, according to the Washington Post. Xi didn’t ask Trump to drop the tariff rate, but he did ask him not to put any more tariffs on Chinese exports. Trump wants the trade talks to begin, so he agreed to Xi’s terms. The trade deal is almost a done deal, but the last 10 percent of the agreement won’t be easy to solve unless Trump drops the tariffs, and he doesn’t try to change Chinese laws, according to the New York Times.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez told the press Ivanka was a poor excuse for a diplomat. The president asked his favorite girl to do a little Trump government business during meetings with Russia, China, and India, according to the Times. Osasco-Cortez said the U.S. looked stupid putting an inexperienced person in charge of important foreign policy meetings.
Sarah Sanders, Trump’s former spokesperson, told AOC to go easy on her girl crush, Ivanka. Sarah told the press the same Trumpian story she tried to spin in Washington. Sarah said the Trump dynasty keeps America great in the eyes of dictators and mobsters.